Contradictory Obligations
by Vivien Lestrange
Summary: Being a Healer who's married to a fanatical Death Eater isn't easy. Rodolphus is torn between two worlds and can't willingly let go of either.
1. Wounded Warrioress

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters, the setting or anything else. No money is being made with this story.

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**Contradictory Obligations**

**Wounded Warrioress**

"I don't believe you can't do anything about the words they cut into her arm. You believe she deserves it, don't you? I've heard you hurling the M-word around at school plenty of times."

"Mr Longbottom, I think I've already explained why the treatment for these wounds has to wait. The things that are necessary for her survival need to be done first."

Rodolphus didn't feel like explaining about magic instabilities and their physical consequences once again. Longbottom probably didn't understand it anyway.

Rodolphus glanced at the clock on the wall. The counter spells would have done their work soon. Then it was time to wake the patient up from the sleeping charm he had put her under for the treatment. When she woke up, they'd know if the dark curse that had been used on her had damaged their brain as well as her magic.

Rodolphus checked her pulse and the frequency of her breathing once more. Everything was regular. She had been extremely lucky. Apparating while a curse of this power took its toll could have easily been fatal. Alice Fawley was one of those people who seemed to have nine lives.

"I don't like the way you're looking at her," Longbottom said. "You love this, don't you? Having her lying in bed here so helplessly."

Rodolphus fought the urge to throw him out of the room. Alice received personal protection but that didn't mean one of her colleagues had to remain in the room with her all the time. Longbottom wouldn't be able to tell if Rodolphus gave her a wrong dose of potion or changed a spell in a way that made it harmful rather than beneficial anyway.

Bellatrix kept demanding this kind of thing if he had patients which she considered "unworthy" of his treatment but he had no intention of doing so. Frank Longbottom's presence had nothing to do with that. He obviously wasn't even able to tell the difference between an examination and inappropriate interest in a patient.

Rodolphus swallowed his anger. Longbottom's inability to do anything to help his colleague probably added to his frustration. There was no need to take his remarks personally.

"Mr Longbottom, I know that finding your colleague in such a state must have been a shock for you. I still think we should keep this on a professional level though. You're not helping her if you question everything I do."

"My apologies," the young Auror said. "I got carried away."

Rodolphus wasn't sure how sincere the apology was but it was more than he had expected.

"Quite understandable under these circumstances," he said.

"Can you tell me what happened to her? What caused the magic damage? The Cruciatus curse? There's nothing that can be done then, is there?"

Rodolphus was glad to receive questions. This way, Longbottom at least acknowledged his expertise. "The damage wasn't done by the Cruciatus curse. An unknown curse has been used on her probably during her escape. It was meant to disrupt her magic to keep her from apparating and kill her if she got away after all."

This curse had been quite ingenious. Rodolphus was rather proud because he had been able to lift it without knowing exactly what it was.

"They obviously had an interest in keeping her alive or they would have used the Killing curse when she tried to escape. Someone attempted to use the Cruciatus curse on her but it didn't work properly because of her training. This probably saved her life. She wouldn't have been able to survive the combined effects of the unknown curse and the Cruciatus curse."

"So Scrimgeour's training actually saved her life," Longbottom noted. "Maybe someone should tell Healer Derwent."

"He'll see it in my report. She was given some mildly poisonous potions to weaken her, my colleague from level 3 already informed you about that. They probably noticed that their Cruciatus curse didn't work and resorted to other methods instead. That's why she was so badly injured but cuts, broken bones and burn marks are easily to heal if they're done by simple spells and not a cursed knife like the words on her arm."

"Those bastards," Longbottom hissed. "I hope she remembers who did it so they can rot in Azkaban."

Rodolphus wasn't sure if he hoped this as well. He was always worried that Bellatrix might be among his patients' torturers but so far, no one had seen her face. He didn't really believe she had been involved here. Knowing his wife, Rodolphus assumed that her skills with the Cruciatus curse would allow her to break someone's trained resistance. He quickly shoved this thought aside. Longbottom being skilled in Legilimency was extremely unlikely but you could never know for sure. For the first time, he was relieved that there wasn't one of the older and more experienced Aurors staying with them instead.

He looked at the clock again. "It's time now. I'll wake her from the magic-induced sleep. Please do not interrupt me in any way while I perform the spell. This could prove very dangerous. Looking at her and even touching will be unavoidable in some parts."

"Alright," Longbottom said, pressing his hands tightly together. His worry about the state his colleague would wake up in was clearly visible upon his face.

Rodolphus focused on his spell and forgot about everything around him. This was only about his patient, himself and their respective magic. Things looked good as far as he could tell. Her magic had reorganised itself under the counter spells and there was no harmful power at work anymore. Another benefit from her ability to resist the Cruciatus curse.

The physical injuries had healed without a trace with the exception of the cursed knife wounds but the curse didn't seem to do anything besides keeping normal healing spells from working on the wound. Rodolphus hoped that they would allow nature to do its course.

Alice opened her eyes and looked at him. "Rodolphus, is that you?" she asked, her voice barely audible.

"Yes it's me," he said and made a note. If she recognised him right away, severe damage was unlikely.

"I'm at Saint Mungo's," she muttered anticipating the question he would normally ask next.

"Yes, you are."

"Why? There's no need. I'm fine."

This statement was absurd given her condition but Rodolphus wasn't overly surprised. She always claimed she was fine and there was no need to keep her in when she woke up at Saint Mungo's. If she ever reacted differently, he'd know that there still was something seriously wrong.

"Can you move your arms and legs?" he asked.

Alice tried it. Everything seemed to be alright. "Yes, I can. I have this strange feeling though. As if I were floating."

"Yes, that's an after-effect of the sleeping charm," Rodolphus told her. "It will wear off soon."

Longbottom approached them. "Is she alright?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, she is," Alice said her voice already clearer. "And you can ask her directly."

"Oh Alice, I'm so sorry," Longbottom said.

"For what?" she wanted to know.

Rodolphus thought this was a fair question.

"I should have prevented this. I ran away like a coward while you were the only one brave enough to help the children."

"You followed your orders," Alice said. "Scrimgeour will probably have my head for not doing so."

"I should have protected you."

"My goodness, Frank Longbottom when will you finally get that I'm an Auror and your colleague. I'm not your little sister you have to protect all the time." She coughed from speaking so loudly. Rodolphus handed her a cup of water.

He decided that it was better to put an end to the conversation at this point. Alice wasn't in a state to argue yet. "Mr Longbottom, I think there are quite a few people waiting outside who'd like to know how Miss Fawley's doing. Would you inform them that everything went well and tell us who's there?"

Frank didn't look too enthusiastic but he did as Rodolphus had suggested.

"So you're calling me Miss Fawley now?"

"Well, I thought it was more appropriate in this situation."

Alice rolled her eyes. "I bet he's been getting on your nerves all night."

"He's been extremely worried. Mr Longbottom was the one who found you and you were rather seriously injured," Rodolphus said wondering why he was defending this idiot.

"I think he simply has a problem with women working as Aurors," Alice said. "He acts as if I were the person he's supposed to guard and not his colleague."

"You should discuss this with him when you're better again. I know you won't like to hear this but I need to tell you: You won't be able to use your magic today and you need to take it slowly afterwards as well. You've been seriously injured and it will take some time until you'll be able to return to the field."

Alice sighed. "I feared that. It was this stupid curse they threw at me when I disapparated. Blue and orange light. Never seen anything like that."

"I'm sure your spell experts will figure out what it was," Rodolphus said.

"I hope so. The rest wasn't too bad. Scrimgeour's S&V-training was worse actually. I didn't know they wouldn't kill me of course but I've never been quite sure with Scrimgeour either. Maybe he wanted to get rid of me because I asked too many questions."

"You shouldn't say something like that," Rodolphus said. The training she had received must have been really tough. He only ever heard about it if an Auror had to be hospitalised which happened quite frequently but they barely told him anything.

The door was opened and Frank Longbottom walked in once again. "Dorcas is here on guard duty with me, Molly Weasley and Gideon Prewett are waiting outside too. They want to thank you because you've saved Mrs Weasley's children. Senior Auror Scrimgeour would like a word with you as well."

Alice sighed. "Well, I'll talk to Scrimgeour first then I think. He'll have lots of work to do back at the Ministry."

Longbottom left and a few moments later, Rufus Scrimgeour walked into the room. With his mane-like hair and proud demeanour he reminded Rodolphus of a lion. Someone who made an effort to show his Gryffindor background.

"Good morning, Mr Scrimgeour. Do you wish for me to leave when you're talking to Miss Fawley?"

"Morning, there's no need. We're not discussing anything confidential in here anyway."

Rodolphus wondered if he could intervene when the conversation grew too straining for the patient or if it was better to keep quiet.

"Morning Alice. So you've been patched-up again?"

"Yes Sir, I'm feeling fine." With a glance in Rodolphus' direction she added. "I'm supposed to go easy for the time being though."

"I bet you should," Scrimgeour said. "This was a narrow miss indeed. A foolish thing you did there, chasing after five Death Eaters on your own. Brave but foolish."

"Are Bill and Charlie alright, Sir?" Alice wanted to know.

"Yes, they are. They're with Fabian at the moment. Crouch's not sure if you've earned the Order of Merlin or your dismissal."

"Maybe we could go for something in between," Alice suggested.

Rodolphus hid a smile. No matter what she had said, she wasn't intimidated by her superior.

"Yes, yes, Alice. You know we need to avoid falling into enemy hands alive at all costs, don't you?"

"Yes, Sir, I do. I assure you, I betrayed nothing."

"I believe you that. It's been the second time you were captured though. They will get to know you. They know you're not one who can be forced to talk easily now and will come up with something worse next time."

Rodolphus wondered if he needed to interrupt. Discussing the "next time" with a torture victim who was still severely weakened from her injuries went against any protocol he had learned. Alice didn't seem to be overly disturbed though and she hated over-protectiveness as Frank Longbottom had already been forced to experience.

"I don't think the Death Eaters are intelligent enough to think that far," Alice said.

"Never underestimate the enemy!" Scrimgeour reprimanded her. "You have been lucky a few times but this doesn't mean you'll always get away with a black eye. Next time, you might lose the eye or your life. You're supposed to be brave but not reckless."

"Yes Sir. I promise I'll be more careful in future."

"Good. I will monitor your behaviour and if you're not true to your word, there will be consequences. You can't continue endangering yourself and others who want to protect you."

"Yes Sir. I'll keep that in mind."

"Good. I can't deny that this has been an impressive feat. I didn't believe it was possible to apparate with such injuries at all. Next time, you should apparate directly to Saint Mungo's rather than to the Ministry though. You've been lucky that Longbottom was still there."

Alice smiled at the praise. The idea that there might be a next time didn't seem to bother her too much.

Rodolphus was quite sure that Scrimgeour honestly cared about Alice and her well-being. He was certain that he had not meant to endanger her life during the training.

"That's all for now," Scrimgeour said. "I hope you'll recover soon. The Ministry needs every man and woman on board."

He stepped away from her bed and paused as he reached Rodolphus. "Excellent work, Mr Lestrange. Do take care. You-Know-Who probably doesn't like what you're doing here." He lowered his voice slightly. "I know you won't like to hear this, no one does but: Be careful with this wife of yours. There are some suspicions and never forget, if someone turns over to the Dark Side, there's nothing and no on that matters to them anymore."


	2. Warrioress turned Servant

**Warrioress turned Servant**

When Rodolphus arrived at home, he was extremely tired. He was used to working night shift by now but he would probably never be completely comfortable with it. This was one of the reasons why he looked forward to the end of the five years he had to work at the hospital after Healer's training. Afterwards, he could open his own office and decide for himself when he treated patients and whom he was going to treat. This would improve the situation with Bellatrix considerably he was sure. She didn't like the idea that he treated Aurors and Muggle-borns at all.

In the beginning, Rodolphus hadn't liked treating Muggle-borns either but he was used to it by now. Their bodies didn't work any differently from those of the pure-bloods and the differences in magic weren't as pronounced as he had thought either. He barely ever found himself thinking of them using the term "Mudblood" anymore as he had constantly done back at Hogwarts. He had never believed it possible that their political views would drift so far apart but it had happened. Death Eater and blood traitor, united in marriage. Well, so far, he had kept most of his opinions from her.

Rodolphus hoped that Bellatrix would still be asleep when he returned. They both had their separate rooms in addition to a common bedroom. His work schedules and her own nightly excursions would have made everything else extremely uncomfortable. He wanted to take a shower and try to sleep right afterwards.

Luck didn't favour Rodolphus this morning. He walked into Bellatrix as soon as he entered the house. There were dark lines under her eyes and her face was unusually pale. It didn't take much guesswork to assess what had happened. Bellatrix had been involved in Alice's abduction and escape in some way and the Dark Lord had punished her for the Auror's escape.

"Good morning," Rodolphus said simply. Normally, she preferred it if he didn't bring the subject matter up. If she wanted help, she would tell him. Her state wasn't bad enough to assume that she needed it badly.

"Good morning," she said sharply. Her dark eyes narrowed. She didn't intend to beat around the bush. "What have you been doing last night? Wasted you magic on this useless blood traitor?"

"I've been working," Rodolphus told her.

"I knew it," Bellatrix shrieked. "You've probably saved her life, haven't you? She deserved to die. The Dark Lord wanted to show mercy to this woman. He wanted to give her the chance to join us. She refused but he still offered her time to reconsider before killing her."

"Time to reconsider" was a nice description for keeping a prisoner incarcerated without food but with constant torture and laxative potions. Rodolphus wasn't surprised that Alice failed to see the Dark Lord's "mercy" in this.

"And she stole her wand from Travers and ran away."

Stole _her_ wand, really, Bellatrix had lost perspective. Where the Dark Lord was concerned, she was completely blind. Rodolphus saw a more pressing problem. "Did she recognise you?"

"No, I wore my mask. Unlike this fool Travers. If she had recognised me, it would be your fault that I'd have the Aurors on my tail now. Are you even aware of this? Those people you're helping are our enemies! They fight against our cause. They want me dead or imprisoned and you still help them."

"I have sworn my oath and I need to keep my neutrality," Rodolphus didn't know how many times he had told her this already. "I have sworn to help everyone who needs my help. This goes for Death Eaters who can't come to Saint Mungo's but also for the patients in there."

"So to you, this stupid Healer's Oath is more important than our cause? It's more important than me? It's more important than the Dark Lord?"

She talked herself into a rage. Rodolphus knew better than to tell her that the Dark Lord's wishes didn't figure in his decisions at all. He understood why she thought he was betraying her when he treated those Aurors who were enemy combatants. They would hurt of kill her if their suspicions proved true, Rodolphus knew that. He couldn't break his oath though and he didn't want to deny people like Alice whom he knew since Hogwarts his help either.

"I have to do this. Every Healer must work at the hospital for five years. I'll lose my licence if I refuse. Afterwards, I can choose the patients I'm treating," he said. "Please try to understand this."

"No, I can't understand this," Bellatrix shouted. "I know you have to work there, keep up appearances. But you don't need to make such an effort for those people. You've cured this half-blood Auror Fawcett of the after effects of the Cruciatus curse. Everyone believed this was impossible before! Why?"

She walked up and down the corridor. Rodolphus feared she might throw something at him if she stopped moving. She might even curse him. His hand wandered to his wand in an involuntary movement. He knew he stood no chance against her in a duel. The fact that he needed to think about this at all was bad enough.

"Fawcett has stopped working as an Auror," he said. The man's recovery had not been perfectly complete though the fact that he had betrayed confidential information might play a role in that too. "He's no danger for you anymore."

The Cruciatus curse had always intrigued Rodolphus more than any other form of magic. It was so simple at first glance but the damage it could cause was more profound than the consequences of any other spell. If used long enough, it made a wizard's self turn against him in magic, mind and body, the complete destruction of someone's personality. Ever since he had started working on it in his fourth year at Hogwarts, he had believed that true mastery of this curse was only achievable if you could undo the consequences. Knowing how to use it alone wasn't enough. By now, Rodolphus had come very close to it, the goal had become tangible. Maybe, Bellatrix would understand that better than his Healing Oath but this wasn't the moment to explain it to her. Another time.

"Yes, but you didn't know that. Why can't you make sure that Aurors, traitors and Muggle-borns do not recover? You've told me about this magic; it wouldn't be that hard now, would it? At least sometimes."

"Because this goes against everything I stand for as a Healer. If I start doing that, I can give up right away. I know that you can't understand this."

"No, I can't. Sometimes, I'm wondering if the Sorting Hat didn't make a mistake. You should have been in Hufflepuff."

Rodolphus knew that this was supposed to be the ultimate insult from her. The Black family held nothing but disdain for Hufflepuffs.

She added something else: "But Huffelpuff probably wouldn't take you, would they? They want people to be _loyal _and you are not!"

Her constant attacks coupled with his tiredness made Rodolphus finally lose his cool at this. "Loyal? You're lecturing me about loyalty? Where was your loyalty when you called me "Master" in our bed? This was not a game, at least not one you were playing with me!"

Rodolphus hadn't forgiven this. The idea that she fantasized about this deranged murderer while he was touching her made him almost physically sick. This monster who had branded her with his sign as if she were cattle. Voldemort kept torturing her for punishment, for Morgana's sake. And she fantasized about him? And probably, it wasn't limited to fantasies.

No one knew what she got up to when she was out on her nightly missions. Did they kill some innocent person and have their way with each other afterwards to celebrate their deed? Sometimes, Rodolphus cursed his vivid imagination. Did Voldemort cast the Cruciatus curse on her and take her right afterwards while she was still twitching in pain? He'd barely admit it to himself and even less to anyone else but the latter images held some appeal to him as well.

"You're not _jealous _of the Dark Lord, are you?" Bellatrix said and laughed her most unpleasant kind of laughter. He rarely heard the other kinds since she had chosen to become a Death Eater. The anger in her face had been replaced by pure disdain. "If it was another ordinary man like yourself, but the Dark Lord? Seriously, there could be no greater honour. Do you really think you can give me everything I need?"

Rodolphus was speechless. He couldn't believe this was happening. His wife didn't only admit that she cheated on him, she had admitted that, hadn't she? She also told him that he was inadequate.

"This is the first time you're telling me that I'm not giving you something you need," he said trying to keep calm. Everything else would only make her even more disdainful. "Maybe you should tell me before you go looking for someone else."

"You don't get it, do you? I have not been looking for someone else. The Dark Lord isn't just someone. He's much more than a man."

No, he didn't get this.

"You cannot give me what I need. You're way too soft and weak. You don't have this kind of power and you never will. You should meet him too, then you would understand."

Whatever went on in his wife's head was far beyond Rodolphus' abilities to understand. She really believed he would be alright with her declaring her love for Voldemort if only he met him? She was his wife and had sworn to be loyal to him but that didn't seem to interest her all. At the same time, she was accusing him because he did his job.

Maybe he didn't have the "kind of power" the Dark Lord was supposed to have but he had a different kind. He had the power to heal injuries to body and magic and he was more skilled at it than anyone else of his generation as he had been told by various people. Soon, he would be able to heal even the most severely affected victims of the Cruciatus curse. The Dark Lord couldn't dream of anything like that. He was stuck being one of many users of the curse.

And Bellatrix had something completely wrong. Rodolphus knew that he would be able to use this and other dark curses if he wanted to. He already used something very much like the Imperius curse at the hospital, it was legal under certain circumstances and they had learned it in their training. He had learned quickly.

"Listen, Bellatrix. I need my rest now and I'm not interested in any more insults from you. I'm not going to stop doing my work properly because you want me to. It's just not happening. If you'd like something else to change between us, tell me. That's all for now."

With that, Rodolphus turned away and went into the bathroom to finally have his shower. While at it, he wondered if this marriage was salvageable at all. Bellatrix simply couldn't appreciate him or his work. It was understandable in a way of course. She was fighting against some of the people he treated and he knew this wasn't a good basis for their relationship. He also treated injured Death Eaters if she arranged for it though. Doing that and doing it discretely was a matter of course for him. He had spared many of them death or imprisonment because their Dark Mark made them easily recognisable if they went to Saint Mungo's. It was completely absurd. Voldemort led a secretive organisation with members who had to wear masks but he burned his sign into their skin, visible for everyone. This was a completely irrational thing to do. Rodolphus could only think of one reason, possessiveness. He branded them as his slaves, his property. The consequences for the Death Eaters didn't matter to him. Rodolphus doubted that the Death Eaters themselves mattered to him.

Bellatrix had obviously fallen for him completely. Otherwise, she'd never say the things she had just said.

Rodolphus still remembered his shock when he had seen the ugly mark marring her perfect skin for the first time. She hadn't bothered to tell him about her plans. She wasn't interested in his opinion at all. She hadn't cared about the consequences being married to an active Death Eater could have for his life.

He had always thought she would do what her father, her uncle and her aunt had done, support him politically but keep herself at the sidelines, avoiding the thick of things. He had hoped she would find her happiness in her successful duels if she considered taking a job beneath her as daughter and wife of two of the richest magical families. She was a passionate speaker he could have imagined her in a political career as well.

Instead, she had gotten sucked into this cult of pain and death completely.

The Bellatrix he had loved and married had never called anyone her master. She had been proud and free, had only taken orders if she wanted to and Rodolphus had loved her for it. His Black warrioress, his dark queen.

As if it had been yesterday, he remembered how she had led him off into the forest this Beltane night in their seventh year. He remembered the old magic she had invoked to bind them by something more than rings.

Every since, he had remained true but she had not. She was with someone else, a man who didn't even reveal his true name. She called him master, she kneeled for him, she grovelled for him, she took his punishment, she obeyed his every command. Her entire life was revolving around one man now; like it did for those Muggle women she had always made fun of in the past.

His dark queen had gone and a servant had taken her place.


End file.
